By nature I’m not confrontational. I like to think I’m friendly and sincere. But lately I’ve found that the words “have a nice day” are said out of habit and in a tone that sounds less than genuine, even sarcastic at times. Is it just me?
Not to rant, but aren’t there people we encounter that create such mayhem, animosity and general unhappiness instead of saying “have a nice day” you’d prefer to smile, nod and let karma do what karma does?
Wouldn’t it be great to live your life in a way that having the type of day you deserve would be it’s own reward?
I once worked in an office with two other women, my boss, and our secretary. The secretary was having her first child. We’d all worked together for years and were intimately involved with every detail of her pregnancy.
I came into work one morning only to see that Wendy wasn’t at her desk. I could see that Faye was bursting with the news.
“Wendy had her baby last night!”
It was all very exciting. Wendy had predicted that she’d have a short and easy delivery, I asked Faye “How’d it go?” I couldn’t have imagined her answer.
“Everything thing was great until she was sodomized,” Faye said rather calmly. I gasped.
“WHAT? WHEN????”
“At the hospital,” she replied nonplussed.
“Before or after the delivery?” I asked, the horrific image ricocheting in my head.
“Before”
“By who?”
“An orderly”
“Where was her husband?” I was distressed.
“He went out for a cigarette”.
I was clearly appalled and Faye, who was older than I and a mother went on to add “it’s very common”
It suddenly occurred to me that Faye often mixed up her words and her lack of concern for Wendy made me ask the next question.
“Faye, do you know what sodomy is?”
She replied patiently, “you know, when they have to make a cut”.
“Do you mean an episiotomy?”
I saw her look of confusion. Then her face fell as she said “oh no”.
“Have you told anyone else this story?” (I had to ask)
Chagrined, she admitted she’d just come from a manager’s meeting where she’d told everyone the same story.
“You might want to be careful when you tell this story” was all I could say once I stopped laughing.
This is a true story. I have changed the names because it seemed like the right thing to do. If you liked this story, stick with me. I’ve got a lifetime of funny stories to share.
Twenty Eighth thing: Learning new things makes me happy.
This was not always so. I didn’t particularly like school. That isn’t completely true. I liked certain topics – English, Drama, Speech, Literature, Art, Oceanography, Psychology interested me. Math and science – the worst. But I think that’s true of most people, we excel at what excites and intrigues us, wanting to learn more.
What inspired me to choose learning new things as my twenty eighth entry in this series of what makes me happy has to do with life lessons, finding out the extent of what you don’t know and learning from those experiences.
I have been talking about buying a new bed – for years.It was a priority when I retired (over a year ago) but I was filled with trepidation over obstacles, certain that the process would be difficult and stressful. I remember buying my last bed when I was forty, thinking “this will be the last bed I’ll have to buy”. Longevity runs in my family so I’m not sure why this thought stuck in my mind. Just because I’d purchased a top of the line bed what expectation did I have for how long beds last?
I moved here 30 years ago and my queen size box spring was nightmarish to shove onto the landing, scraping the ceiling before turning the tight corner and getting it up the stairs. When I bought my current bed almost twenty years ago, I moved my other bed to the guest room rather than have to contend with getting it back down the stairs of our two story home. And it was not an easy delivery the second time. (I recall grunting and scraping sounds.)
But I digress. My biggest obstacle: I was certain I’d have to cajole, bribe or withhold my purchase if I couldn’t get the salesperson’s agreement to move my old bed down the stairs and cart it away. I just knew I’d be told that was my responsibility. As a result, I procrastinated yet still complained about my too soft bed.
Well, I was wrong – and I’m admitting it.
Not only was delivery free, the old bed would be removed at no charge and carted away. All products in this store are made in the USA (this is important to me). 0% financing for 50 months means I can leave my savings account untapped. I even learned to my delight that an adjustable bed is not just available from a certain manufacturer but rather is what you buy with any mattress – in place of a box spring and standard frame. It will attach to my oak headboard which I love. In addition to raising either my head or feet it has other features including MASSAGE.
Yup. Did not see that coming!
In two hours from the time I entered the store till the completion of the sale, I’d learned how much I didn’t know. (It was substantial). After years of serious sleep issues, two bad shoulders, lower back pain and the like, I’m kicking myself over not having done this sooner.
But as Jules, my yoga guru said “you weren’t ready yet”. Namaste.
Anytime now the delivery van will arrive, cart away the old bed (buh-bye) and bring my new bed.
And considering I’m only fifty nine, I’m hopeful this isn’t the last bed I’ll ever buy. But next time, I won’t let the amount of things I don’t know impede me. Instead I’ll look forward to learning something new.
This is the first writing challenge from BUGS (Blogging U Grads) and the challenge is to simply introduce myself by sharing ten things about me. Considering that I’ve shared quite a bit about myself in the last seven months, the challenge for me is to come up with things previously not revealed……
I’m left-handed. Proud of it and believe that my creativity springs from my left-handedness.
Though my husband and I are the only human occupants of my home (my two sons are cats – just to clarify), my pantries (yes plural), refrigerator, freezer, spice and wine racks might lead one to believe that I’m secretly running a personal chef service, opening a gourmet food shop or preparing for the zombie apocalypse.
I have extremely flat feet.
I love The Gilmore Girls! Have the whole series on DVD, watch it beginning to end once a year. It makes me happy.
My first job was as a cashier in a donut shop. Yes, I was a donut slinger, at age 16. Couldn’t eat donuts for many years after I left that job.
I live in the same home that my grandparents built, where my Dad was raised, in the same neighborhood I grew up in.
All my life I’ve been told I looked like both Grandmothers and my Dad.
My hair is naturally very curly, like Shirley Temple curly.
I am of 100% Swedish descent (to the best of our family knowledge).
I didn’t learn to text until I was 57 years old.
Tada! I did it. And I’m quite sure that I’ve not previously shared these captivating facts about myself on this blog.
So, that’s me. Nice to meet you.
Just a bonus thing about me! And because it’s hard for me to make a blog entry without a picture.
BUGS is a writing group that was formed by those participants in the Blogging University Writing 101 workshop from earlier this year. This is the first of bi-weekly challenges they will assign us through year end. I hope you’ll find them interesting.
It is with both humility and appreciation that I accept my first award! One of my most favorite bloggers, Cupid or Cats, just nominated me and it’s pretty exciting stuff let me tell you!
As part of the process I must:
–Thank the person who nominated me and include a link to their blog – nominated by one of my personal favorite bloggers, check her out at cupidorcats.wordpress.comHer blog is full of humor and heart, it’s an absolute pleasure to see each new post on her blog. Thank you for your gracious nomination! – check!
–Display the award on my blog – check!
–Write seven facts about myself – check!
1.I bruise like an overripe peach. I kid you not. I can focus my eyes on a body part with enough intensity to make a bruise appear. Been doin’ it for years, no idea why – just do. I used to work in an environment where I wore skirts and would wear black tights all the time. I wouldn’t make this up.
Courtesy of an image search for “bruised peach”. You’d be surprised what I had to choose from. Trust me.
2.My shoe size is Ladies 11. As a young woman at 6 feet and 1/4 inches tall and size 11 feet, my Mom used to say “a girl as tall as you would fall over with smaller feet”. Which was comforting except that I was also well-known for falling all the time. So big feet, very tall and a klutz. Attractive – not so much, endearing – perhaps to my friends. When someone of my height falls, it’s like a tree going down and rather spectacular (so I’ve been told).
Back in my 20’s and 30’s, (no internet in those days folks) I would dare you to find a ladies size 11 shoe unless you drove an hour north to a “specialty” store. As a result, I crammed my feet into size 10’s for years. Then someone alerted me to a size 11 section at a Payless Shoe Store! I drove there immediately in spite of the sketchy neighborhood – next to strip clubs and known for well…..hookers. Undeterred, I was on a mission, found the 11’s and began trying them on with glee. The lady next to me, sensing my delight asked “isn’t it amazing to find your size?” I looked at her, noticing she was a good 3-4 inches taller than I, was in the size 12 section and sounded like Bea Arthur from Maude. “Yes” I agreed, admiring her flamboyant dress and wig. And yes, she was a drag queen.
The problem with blanket statements.No, tell me, what do they say? Go ahead, take your best shot.
3.I have diverse yet specific tastes. I like my wines dry, my beers dark. I watch Downton Abbey, Walking Dead, Gilmore Girls and Justified with the same unbridled enthusiasm.
I find it impossible not to dance to Love Shack, Uptown Funk, Blurred Lines, I’ve Gotta Feeling and every Fallout Boy song but have nearly broken my wrist turning the channel if a Bruce Springsteen song comes on (sorry, I know he’s The Boss – just not my boss).
I find the idea of frog legs to be gross (yes, I’ve tried them, they taste like chicken but they’re frogs – green, slimy frogs with legs big enough to eat) yet I thoroughly enjoy escargot, crawfish, octopus, calamari and raw oysters. Go figure.
Disturbing, right?
4. Not a fan of driving over big bridges. Being tall, people assume I don’t have a problem with heights. They’d be wrong. For instance, if I were still single and on the Bachelor, I would leave the show if asked to go in a hot air balloon, repel down the side of a skyscraper or into a cavern, go up in a helicopter or bungee jump. I’ve tried to live by “never say never” but these are things that would be deal breakers. Lucky for me, I’ve been with Spence for 24+ years and he doesn’t make me do scary stuff to prove my love and devotion. And on road trips – he drives over the big bridges.
I’m right there with you Claudia. Don’t look down.
5. Golf and me. When I was 12, my Dad took me for a golf lesson. The pro took one look at me, a tall, skinny, long-legged (probably bruised, see #1) girl with glasses who was terrified. The lesson was painful (I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember me) and at the end, I heard him tell my Dad “save your money man, she’s hopeless – and left-handed“. Well that was just plain unnecessary. Dad got in the car, I burst into tears. I think we went for ice cream.
Years later, I love driving golf carts. During my first marriage I did so at an accelerated speed, going airborne as the cart crested a hill. Upon landing, my husband’s golf clubs flew helter-skelter as he screamed obscenities at me. Every time he almost caught up to me, I sped off. Good times.
I do enjoy watching golf on TV and one of my favorite movies ever is Tin Cup with Kevin Costner.
Excellent movie about golf!
Here is the lesson: you can enjoy something that you have no talent for and save yourself years of therapy induced by mean golf pros.
6. Love food – live to eat. Not a surprise to those who know me. I’m always thinking about my next meal with anticipation. My travel journals include vivid descriptions of scrumptious meals I’ve enjoyed and I frequently whip out a camera at restaurants and at home to photograph culinary masterpieces. I subscribe to countless food magazines, watch the Food Network as though I’m being paid and created special built-in shelving for my cookbooks when I re-did my kitchen a few years back. And if you go to @spencesgirlblog on Pinterest, you’ll see my love of food represented in multiple boards. With the exception of only a few things (frog legs being one, see #3) I enjoy all food. Obsessed? Maybe just a bit.
Bring on the chow!
7. My favorite nickname. I’ve been given a few nicknames in my life, many by Spence who is known for assigning nicknames to those he loves. My favorite is when he called me “Private Snuffy of the Flying Monkey Brigade”.
Though lengthy and a bit odd, it has stuck. After he first said it, I proclaimed “I just want 5 minutes inside your brain to see where you come up with this stuff“! He cracks me up.
______________________________
–Nominate fifteen people for the award – not quite 15 but here are 8 of my favorite blogs, check!
My topic: A time you had victory over a problem or fear
Probably the first thing that comes to mind was one of the scariest things I faced, though at the time I didn’t quite acknowledge it because I was heavily medicated.
You see I’d torn my rotator cuff in my right shoulder, had bone spurs that had severed one of my bicep tendons and the only solution after MRI’s, X-rays, physical therapy etc – was surgery.
Thinking, “it’s only laparoscopic” I nearly didn’t call my Dad in Florida so as not to worry him. “Oh honey” he said “that’s no small surgery”.
Undeterred, I went in thinking positively, accepted the offered shoulder block which would essentially make my right shoulder and arm like dead weight. I was wheeled away and remember my surgeon (who I call Dr. Cutie Pie) saying everything would be fine.
When I awoke however much later, the first thing I recall is two male voices seemingly right in my ear stating “I don’t mind telling you I crapped my pants a bit when she flat-lined”.
“Who are you talking about” I mumbled, as my eyes opened.
“Oh welcome back, you gave us a little scare” they said.
“I flatlined?”
They confirmed it and by a stroke of divine intervention, my cardiologist who was on the floor was called after the code blue and agreed that they should finish the surgery but that I was to go to cardiology intensive care after recovery.
The following day, I coded again and now it became not if but when they’d give me a pacemaker. In my heavily pain-medicated state, I worried about missing work with two arms down and said, “can you put it in the right side?”
The better answer would have been “no honey, your heart is on the left” but they took my question as my wish and proceeded the following day to do one and a half hours of torture inserting a pacemaker into the bad shoulder – without anesthesia. It was not good and I recall asking someone to find my mom as I was being wheeled back to my room.
Now seven years later, I’m still ticking and have made peace with this chunk of metal that resides in my shoulder, a reminder of what might have been a surgery gone wrong.
376 words in ten minutes
__________________________________________
I was recently invited by another blogger to participate in a Free Style Writing Challenge.
“Sure – how does that work?” I asked.
Here’s the way it works.
Free Style Writing Challenge
Here are the cut-and-pasted rules: Open an MS Word document (or Pages) 1. Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat. (Not sure what that meant so I just set the timer for 10) 2. Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH A TIMER. 3. Fill the word doc with as many words as you want. Once you began writing do not stop even to turn. 4. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write the right spelling and stick to grammar rules) 5. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and capitals. However, if you do, it would be best. 6. At the end of your post write down ‘No. Of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame. 7. Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 5 bloggers).
I’m now going to follow suit and nominate 5 fellow bloggers to participate. And I hope they do. This may not have been my best work but it stretches the writing muscle like the writing class I took last year which required us to write, on the spot and then share with the class.
I nominate:
mangoes to mutts
cupid or cats
Bali info
the view from the porch
lucile de godoy
I will reach out to these five bloggers, if you’d like to participate, great – I will send you your prompt. If not, I get it – this may not be your thing and if so, that’s cool. Just know that I enjoy your writing and thought of you!
Okay, for those who accepted the challenge, here is your topic. First however, set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes, then scroll down, get your topic and go!
Seventh thing: As I said when I started this series, my 59 things are in random order. Just wanted to be clear since the reality is that I put my marriage at the top of the list of things that make me happy.
It took a long time to find the right man and longer still to marry him. I was so afraid that things would change. And guess what – they did. After eighteen years together, our wedding day created a shift in our world. I felt more nurturing and protective of our relationship and this life we’ve made. I’ve never regretted it for one day.
Marriage is work, love, compromise, passion, more work, silliness, health crisis’, exploration, love, discovery and knowing you belong to someone else.
Here is second installment of 59 random things that make me happy to mark my newly minted 59th year on earth.
Third thing: I mentioned yesterday a rainbow that appeared to me a few weeks ago on a sunny day. It made me think of how many rainbows I missed when I was busy working, worrying about sales goals or life in general. Not living in the moment. Since I retired (and also took up yoga and meditation) I’ve slowed down and seem to notice more. Which made me remember this moment from our trip to Sedona last year. We were renting the most incredible house, on a hillside overlooking a valley – and all windows. The night before we experienced a magnificent thunderstorm that was at once terrifying and magical, protected only by the windows surrounding us. We awoke the next morning to a steady but calm rain followed by brilliant sunshine streaming in. I grabbed my iPhone telling Spence, “there’s got to be a rainbow” and went in search, looking up. No rainbow. Then I looked below me and there it was. We were “over the rainbow”. How cool is that? You simply need to know where to look!
In Sedona after the storm, the rainbow appeared below us, in essence, we were “over the rainbow”
Fourth thing: The next thing I have no picture of except as an indelible memory. It was when we first traveled to Costa Rica. Spence was renting a little house that had been made into a duplex in a barrio outside of Quepos. It was on the main road and we would walk a mile into town – then back, three times a day. We walked next to the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other so that when they lost power (at least once a day it seemed) and it was nighttime, we were plunged into total darkness on our walk. Except if you looked up. Then you saw the most miraculous sight, millions perhaps billions of stars. Like diamonds sparkling against black velvet, I was transfixed and couldn’t look down. It made me realize that the stars are always there but are masked by lights from below them and remain hidden. The beauty of those stars left such an impression on me and I’m grateful for that glimpse of heaven. Amazing.
Photo Courtesy of Pinterest, to the photographer that captured this, I thank you!
Yesterday I celebrated my 59th birthday and thought “whew, those first 58 years went by fast”.
I think back on friends and family who didn’t see their 59th birthday and realize that the greatest gift we get is waking up each day, a fresh slate. And as I mark my 59th year, I’ve decided instead of 59 candles (which face it – is a fire hazard) I’m going to share 59 things that make me happy, in random order (and over the next few weeks so I don’t create a novel…..)
First thing: Since I retired, just a few months before my 58th birthday, I’ve slowed down and am more aware and observant of things around me. A few weeks back, while floating in the pool at my stepmom’s house, I looked towards the sun and clouds and saw a rainbow, inverted so that it looked like a big smile. I asked her if she saw it, she did not. I took off my glasses – and though near-sighted, I could still see it. It lasted for quite a while, regardless of where I floated. I like to think it was my Dad sending me that rainbow. Rainbows have always been one of my happy things. I wish I had a picture to share with you, but the picture in my mind is there forever. Just because I was paying attention.
Second Thing: Just the other day, Spence and I were at an amazing place, having a couple of cold Shiner Bock and enjoying beautiful waterfalls. I looked down and saw the coolest thing and shot this video. At first I thought it was a piece of neon colored yarn…..
A few years back, you surprised me with a special Christmas gift. Home movies taken over a span of years of two young, carefree sisters converted into a home video. Those home movies were taken well before anyone imagined home videos or youtube and were the only thing available to capture more than still-photos of our childhood.
Converting these movies with the addition of beautiful music was both unexpected and very moving. I remember that Spence and I stopped opening any other Christmas gifts and watched it immediately. Tears streaming, it brought back happy memories. I know I called you that day and thanked you.
Now that you’re gone, I often wish I’d thanked you more for this gift – and for all the things you did throughout my life that made it better. So today, I’m sending this letter out into the universe, hoping it will reach you and remind you that I love you and miss you everyday.
With gratitude,
Your Daughter
_________________________________________
Day Fourteen: To Whom It May Concern
Today’s Prompt: Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What’s the first word that jumps off the page? Use this word as your springboard for inspiration. If you need a boost, Google the word and see what images appear, and then go from there.
Today’s twist: write the post in the form of a letter.
You have a number of options: you can write a letter to the word or an image, or an open letter to the world inspired by the word. You could pen a series of imaginary notes between you and a friend, or between two fictional characters, or between old you and young you.
My word on page 29 of a random book was “home video”. Yes, I realize it’s two words but it is my blog and I’m late with this assignment so there you have it.
