Having been with Spence for 26 years, it was a shock to the system to find myself alone. It’s taken a lot of time to figure out who I am without him. Part of self care involves getting comfortable with navigating all aspects of life successfully by yourself.
I took my first of two solo vacations in early 2018. Travel was a passion for Spence and I whether a spontaneous road trip or an international vacation, we were utterly simpatico. I needed to know that could travel alone and find myself along the way.
For the first trip I chose Scottsdale, somewhere I’d never been. I stayed at the Omni Scottsdale Resort and Spa at Montelucia. It was a magical escape from the bitter cold Michigan winter, with daily spa treatments, fabulous meals, hikes and a few visits to a nearby casino. I had nothing but time to be alone and reflect on my life. The true test was the last night which fell on Valentine’s Day. I’d thought I might be sad seeing happy couples celebrating over dinner and considered ordering room service. Instead I put on a pretty dress, jewelry and makeup and went to their fanciest restaurant where I enjoyed an amazing meal and attentive service. I took a long walk after dinner, enjoying the beauty surrounding me and realized, I was okay. In fact, I felt happy. It was empowering to feel that spark reignite.
A few scenes from the resort and spa.
This hike was on a warm, breezy day and allowed me to immerse myself in new surroundings, nature, silence and reflect on all the good things in my life.
Long before I started blogging, I was photographing (and journaling about) food. Spence always found this funny and would title our trips, “Laura’s Eating and Drinking Vacations”. That said, I had to include a few pics of the delicious food and adult beverages I enjoyed on this first solo vacation.
It’s human nature, for women in particular, to be harder on ourselves than others. With family and friends, we support their choices and are non-judgmental of their mistakes. We accept their imperfections because we know their worth, in other words we provide unconditional love.
In contrast, we hold ourselves to higher standards and our inner voice can tear us down if we don’t manage its volume.
Self care isn’t just about getting through a crisis – it’s an ongoing awareness of our inner critic who makes us feel we’re not meeting every self-imposed expectation. Call it changing the lens or flipping the script and try to imagine that same internal voice consistently offering up positive affirmations and encouragement instead.