“Be careful when you tell that story”

I once worked in an office with two other women, my boss, and our secretary. The secretary was having her first child. We’d all worked together for years and were intimately involved with every detail of her pregnancy.

I came into work one morning only to see that Wendy wasn’t at her desk. I could see that Faye was bursting with the news.

“Wendy had her baby last night!”

It was all very exciting. Wendy had predicted that she’d have a short and easy delivery, I asked Faye “How’d it go?” I couldn’t have imagined her answer.

“Everything thing was great until she was sodomized,” Faye said rather calmly. I gasped.

“WHAT? WHEN????”

“At the hospital,” she replied nonplussed.

“Before or after the delivery?” I asked, the horrific image ricocheting in my head.

“Before”

“By who?”

“An orderly”

“Where was her husband?” I was distressed.

“He went out for a cigarette”.

I was clearly appalled and Faye, who was older than I and a mother went on to add “it’s very common”

It suddenly occurred to me that Faye often mixed up her words and her lack of concern for Wendy made me ask the next question.

“Faye, do you know what sodomy is?”

She replied patiently, “you know, when they have to make a cut”.

“Do you mean an episiotomy?”

I saw her look of confusion. Then her face fell as she said “oh no”.

“Have you told anyone else this story?” (I had to ask)

Chagrined, she admitted she’d just come from a manager’s meeting where she’d told everyone the same story.

“You might want to be careful when you tell this story” was all I could say once I stopped laughing.

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This is a true story. I have changed the names because it seemed like the right thing to do. If you liked this story, stick with me. I’ve got a lifetime of funny stories to share.

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