It’s okay to be selfish.
There are multiple definitions of the word selfish and they’re primarily negative but not always:
Selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself
If there’s ever a time that you deserve to be selfish, it’s when you’re trying to cope with a loss. It’s survival and it’s self care.
In those first months, I sought solitude letting everything wash over me without censorship. Most days thoughts ricocheted wildly inside my head and to articulate them was too painful. It was a moment-to-moment way to get through those days but it was what I needed.
When dealing with loss your process might differ from mine. Give yourself permission to be selfish in seeking what you need to heal.