When somebody loves you ❤️
Tag: humor
My First Award!
It is with both humility and appreciation that I accept my first award! One of my most favorite bloggers, Cupid or Cats, just nominated me and it’s pretty exciting stuff let me tell you!
As part of the process I must:
–Thank the person who nominated me and include a link to their blog – nominated by one of my personal favorite bloggers, check her out at cupidorcats.wordpress.com Her blog is full of humor and heart, it’s an absolute pleasure to see each new post on her blog. Thank you for your gracious nomination! – check!
–Display the award on my blog – check!
–Write seven facts about myself – check!
1. I bruise like an overripe peach. I kid you not. I can focus my eyes on a body part with enough intensity to make a bruise appear. Been doin’ it for years, no idea why – just do. I used to work in an environment where I wore skirts and would wear black tights all the time. I wouldn’t make this up.
2. My shoe size is Ladies 11. As a young woman at 6 feet and 1/4 inches tall and size 11 feet, my Mom used to say “a girl as tall as you would fall over with smaller feet”. Which was comforting except that I was also well-known for falling all the time . So big feet, very tall and a klutz. Attractive – not so much, endearing – perhaps to my friends. When someone of my height falls, it’s like a tree going down and rather spectacular (so I’ve been told).
Back in my 20’s and 30’s, (no internet in those days folks) I would dare you to find a ladies size 11 shoe unless you drove an hour north to a “specialty” store. As a result, I crammed my feet into size 10’s for years. Then someone alerted me to a size 11 section at a Payless Shoe Store! I drove there immediately in spite of the sketchy neighborhood – next to strip clubs and known for well…..hookers. Undeterred, I was on a mission, found the 11’s and began trying them on with glee. The lady next to me, sensing my delight asked “isn’t it amazing to find your size?” I looked at her, noticing she was a good 3-4 inches taller than I, was in the size 12 section and sounded like Bea Arthur from Maude. “Yes” I agreed, admiring her flamboyant dress and wig. And yes, she was a drag queen.
3. I have diverse yet specific tastes. I like my wines dry, my beers dark. I watch Downton Abbey, Walking Dead, Gilmore Girls and Justified with the same unbridled enthusiasm.
I find it impossible not to dance to Love Shack, Uptown Funk, Blurred Lines, I’ve Gotta Feeling and every Fallout Boy song but have nearly broken my wrist turning the channel if a Bruce Springsteen song comes on (sorry, I know he’s The Boss – just not my boss).
I find the idea of frog legs to be gross (yes, I’ve tried them, they taste like chicken but they’re frogs – green, slimy frogs with legs big enough to eat) yet I thoroughly enjoy escargot, crawfish, octopus, calamari and raw oysters. Go figure.
4. Not a fan of driving over big bridges. Being tall, people assume I don’t have a problem with heights. They’d be wrong. For instance, if I were still single and on the Bachelor, I would leave the show if asked to go in a hot air balloon, repel down the side of a skyscraper or into a cavern, go up in a helicopter or bungee jump. I’ve tried to live by “never say never” but these are things that would be deal breakers. Lucky for me, I’ve been with Spence for 24+ years and he doesn’t make me do scary stuff to prove my love and devotion. And on road trips – he drives over the big bridges.
5. Golf and me. When I was 12, my Dad took me for a golf lesson. The pro took one look at me, a tall, skinny, long-legged (probably bruised, see #1) girl with glasses who was terrified. The lesson was painful (I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember me) and at the end, I heard him tell my Dad “save your money man, she’s hopeless – and left-handed“. Well that was just plain unnecessary. Dad got in the car, I burst into tears. I think we went for ice cream.
Years later, I love driving golf carts. During my first marriage I did so at an accelerated speed, going airborne as the cart crested a hill. Upon landing, my husband’s golf clubs flew helter-skelter as he screamed obscenities at me. Every time he almost caught up to me, I sped off. Good times.
I do enjoy watching golf on TV and one of my favorite movies ever is Tin Cup with Kevin Costner.
Here is the lesson: you can enjoy something that you have no talent for and save yourself years of therapy induced by mean golf pros.
6. Love food – live to eat. Not a surprise to those who know me. I’m always thinking about my next meal with anticipation. My travel journals include vivid descriptions of scrumptious meals I’ve enjoyed and I frequently whip out a camera at restaurants and at home to photograph culinary masterpieces. I subscribe to countless food magazines, watch the Food Network as though I’m being paid and created special built-in shelving for my cookbooks when I re-did my kitchen a few years back. And if you go to @spencesgirlblog on Pinterest, you’ll see my love of food represented in multiple boards. With the exception of only a few things (frog legs being one, see #3) I enjoy all food. Obsessed? Maybe just a bit.
7. My favorite nickname. I’ve been given a few nicknames in my life, many by Spence who is known for assigning nicknames to those he loves. My favorite is when he called me “Private Snuffy of the Flying Monkey Brigade”.
Though lengthy and a bit odd, it has stuck. After he first said it, I proclaimed “I just want 5 minutes inside your brain to see where you come up with this stuff“! He cracks me up.
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–Nominate fifteen people for the award – not quite 15 but here are 8 of my favorite blogs, check!
- creekview carol
- mangoes to mutts
- story shucker
- in cahoots with muddy boots
- the lodge on Haydon
- 4wallsnaroof/the view from the porch
- rachelmankowitz
- the migrant chef
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For people pleasers everywhere…
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Bathing Suit Shopping or the Importance of Listening
“Come shopping with me” she said. “I’d like to get your opinion” He mumbled his “yes” only half-listening as husbands often do and went back to his paper. A good man to be sure but a man who would soon come to wish he’d listened more closely.
The department store was teeming with people. This occurred to him when he was trying to find a parking place. He hated crowds, frankly hated shopping.
“I’ll drop you off” he offered sweetly “and meet you inside, where will you be?”
“In Bathing Suits” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Remember, I told you I want your opinion?” She hopped out and disappeared into the throngs of eager shoppers. His stomach clenched. Bathing suits. “Dear God” he thought, casting his eyes towards heaven, wishing he’d been paying attention. “Should’ve told her I needed to organize my sock drawer…”
He finally chose a parking place some distance away, in part because there was shade, in part because it allowed him to slowly meander towards the store, buying time I suppose.
“TUESDAY IS SENIOR’S DAY” proclaimed signs in a profusion of color. That explained the crowds. Like a deer in the headlights he scanned signs above each department, finally asking a salesclerk where he’d find ladies swimsuits. She pointed and he swore she smirked.
In part due to the congestion of shoppers but also with impending dread, he dragged his heels as he made his way towards her. “Finally” she huffed, handing him an armload of bathing apparel “hang onto these, I’m still looking”. Feeling as uncomfortable as if he were handling her lingerie, he stood there laden down with floral prints, stripes and polka dots. He tried to envision her choices, shuddering at the thought of what was coming next. “Go get in line for me” He looked at her, clearly puzzled. “For the dressing rooms!” He followed her eyes and saw the line, he sighed. He saw another man in the same predicament. A pained look passed between them. As he got closer, he could hear conversations emanating from the dressing rooms. He could hear someone crying. “I feel you” he thought.
Finally she arrived back with more selections and a dressing room opened. “Wait right there and I’ll call you” she said. Nervously, he did as asked. “Ready!” she said as the door opened, “what do you think?” She was a sight in fuchsia flowers. “Umm hmm” was all he could think of. “Fine, let me try another”. “How about this?” she pirouetted in a jungle print. He didn’t know how to respond and could tell she was exasperated. Several more came and went, he was feeling light-headed, wanting to be kind but honest. “Ready!” she signaled again and he dutifully went back into the fray.
“Do you think this makes my butt look big?”
Not always a clever man, he clutched his chest and dropped to the floor. Paramedics were summoned.
“You okay Sam?” asked the paramedic who’s name badge said “Chuck”.
“Not sure what happened there Chuck”.
Then, discreetly he looked Chuck in the eye… and winked.
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Writing 101 assignment Day Twelve: Dark Clouds on the (Virtual) Horizon
Today’s Prompt: Write a post inspired by a real-world conversation.
We don’t write in a bubble — we write in the world, and what we say is influenced by our experiences. Today, take a cue from something you’ve overheard and write a post inspired by a real-life conversation. Revisit a time when you wish you’d spoken up, reminisce about an important conversation that will always stick with you, or tune in to a conversation happening around you right now and write your reaction. Take time to listen — to what you hear around you, or what your memories stir up.
Today’s twist: include an element of foreshadowing in the beginning of your post.
My twist: I’m currently in Florida and was shopping for a bathing suit on Tuesday. I may or may not be the one who was crying in the dressing room in this story, you decide. But I did see such a man who appeared to be in pain in this very scenario and paramedics were called to the store while I was there…..
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Being in a Long-Term Relationship
From one of my favorite bloggers, this is so true of long term relationships. It made me laugh, please enjoy and check out her blog!
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Why cats should avoid beans
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A bit of egg humor
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Settling Mom – Part One or “On Shopping”
With Mom’s recent move back to Michigan (see Moving Mom series in this blog), the need for shopping has reached a new dimension. Was it just a week ago that we were arriving home from the road trip from Florida to Michigan?
Mom left most of her furniture in Florida as requested by the buyers of her home. Good for them and less to contend with for her. Now starts the tricky part – from two bedroom house with large lanai to one bedroom apartment with a “pie” (think alcove making more of a great room). Where to place her sofa, love-seat, computer, desk, TV and then what to buy? The first day we set out was cold with a steady rain. What we found out immediately? Mom LOVES the heated seats in my Tucson.
We started by checking consignment stores for a small but contemporary drop leaf table, large living room table for her ginormous lamp and if possible a “statement ” piece, (something really striking). Less likely would be finding the right dresser and matching nightstand in consignment. A bed she will buy brand new and she’s already on task for that. She located the bedding online she fell in love with and it’s making it’s in transit, even as I write this.
The first shop we visited yielded a single treasure (the “statement piece”) but felt almost too easy. Mom wasn’t ready to “pull the trigger” – not just yet. But we were both struck by it’s uniqueness. As days ensued, visiting numerous stores not finding anything else that compared to it, we kept talking about it. We even agreed on where to place it, clearly it left an impression on us. Tomorrow we’ll go back, praying that it’s still there in that huge warehouse hopefully undiscovered and waiting for Mom.
Yesterday was another day of furniture shopping – in the snow (seriously – welcome back to Michigan Mom!) We’ve had no luck finding tables in consignment. At a major retail furniture chain, we’d spotted a table that could work (later on Amazon I found something better which she’s since ordered) but did find a matching dresser and nightstand that she likes. However, there’s at least one other furniture retailer that we’ve yet to visit making sure we’ve checked their selection. Decision – paused for now.
When not shopping this week, we’ve been moving in those things from the truckload Spence drove back in February, items we crammed into Mom’s car and a number of items from the POD which was delivered Thursday. (Sister, brother-in-law, nephew and a buddy unloading the remainder of the POD today as Spence and I are off to the wedding of dear friends)
Got her new phones, a LAN line, high speed internet and HD cable set up, pairing her Kindle to her new home network. She looked so happy sitting on the apartment floor able to check emails on her own computer for the first time in nearly two weeks, seeing her HD TV with a picture – knowing both had arrived intact. (other than the missing power cord to the printer which is bound to show up – a casualty of the hectic last boxes packed)
If you enjoyed this piece, stay tuned as there’s more to come on Settling Mom, including (fingers crossed) our consignment find….with pictures to follow.
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A bit of spider humor
Trying to come to grips with my arachnophobia.
Do. Not. Like. Spiders. They freak me out.
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Whip It Good!
