Self Care, part five

Getting through loss is a one step forward, one more step forward and five steps back process.  Sometimes it’s more than five steps backward and it’s part of grief and recovery.

There is no road map that’s laid out for you. Every now and then you step on a land mine. It happens.

I found that the first few times I met friends or family at a restaurant, I’d think “I can handle this” and then suddenly, up bubbled the tears.  I’ve always hated for anyone to see me cry (not a pretty crier) and they weren’t full on sob-fests, but I was embarrassed and felt bad for the person with me.

But this is what I learned.

These same people missed Spence and had memories of their own, many of which we shared.  Speaking for myself, it’s often hard but inevitably healing to talk about him with those who loved him. He was funny, loving, smart, worldly and larger than life.

You are not alone in your loss and the loss is not yours alone. Share those memories.